Chapter 5.1 - Failed to attack monsters, instead got beaten up
Bonus chapter for Giacomo A because it was already scheduled, 3 more sponsored chapters of TFDC to go ♡♡♡
Normally, to attack the nine tailed fox, this type of boss, would require a party to fight it.
Su Muzhe and Tang poem actually were fighting this huge fox with only two people, so they were continuously getting knocked to the ground.
When they stood up, their whole bodies were weak.
But Su Muzhe was still just as immortal and untouchable, with an elegant countenance.
The two people had already been beaten up to a ridiculous point, but Su Muzhe still had a face of “Stupid humans, this fairy doesn’t want to speak to you inferior beings.”
While Tang poem had an air of, “I’m a coward, I’m so tragic.”
After being resurrected, Su Muzhe suddenly stopped moving.
[Now] Tang poem: Ah? Wife? Did you get beaten silly?
[Now] Su Muzhe: Even if I got stupid, I still wouldn’t be as stupid as you. I went to call the guild for help.
Su Muzhe’s calling ability really couldn’t be mocked, in a moment, eight of the top ranked players had already come to help.
Tang Xiao kept feeling as if Su Muzhe’s image was threatening her so she silently stepped back a few steps.
[Now] Parting song: Beat up little Tang poem together?
[Now] Tang poem: ...
[Now] Su Muzhe: Seeing the nine tailed fox, there’s no reason not to fight it.
[Now] Parting song: That’s true, you don’t need so many people to beat up little Tang poem. You can do it yourself.
[Now] Tang poem: !!!!
She already didn’t have a temper already, okay!!
Su Muzhe didn’t have time to bother her any more.
The nine people grouped together and found their own positions.
Ranzhi Jiangshan’s collaborative team had always been the strongest and a few people had frequently come together to mob the nine tailed fox, so their movements were already routine and easy.
The nine tailed fox was this world’s big “boss” and its famous characteristic was its separate selves.
Of course, you’d still have to kill the real one to get the rewards.
The few people from Ranzhi pulled a fox to themselves and ran far away.
They left Su Muzhe as well as a support nurse to fight the real fox and because there were too people from Ranzhi Jiangshan online, it was hard to beat the fox without an enchanter to freeze it.
In only a few more moves, the party died again.
Tang Xiao shamelessly stepped over their corpses and threw a chrysanthemum flower on top of each corpse.
[Now] Parting song: What does this mean.
[Now] Tang poem: Ah, during Tomb Sweeping Day, isn’t giving chrysanthemum flowers a sign of respect for the dead~ Of course, this time, I’m not giving you guys respect, I’m only signifying that you guys got beaten up so hard that your chrysanthemum flower bloomed.
[Now] Everyone: ….
The result of a quick tongue is of course, to get beaten up.
Tang Xiao originally had resisted but now, she had completely gave up.
She had already used the most peaceful posture to kiss the ground.
[Now] Su Muzhe: Little Tang poem, why don’t you ever learn?
[Now] Tang poem: If I was you, I’d say, “I’ve never experienced such mocking … very good, you’ve finally successfully piqued my interest.”
[Now] Su Muzhe: ….
[Now] Parting song: I still feel like we should beat up little Tang poem as a group.
[Now] This emperor: Guild master, you should say, “Little Tang poem, you little seductive demoness, when you lit this fire, did you think of the consequences?”
[Now] Su Muzhe: ….
[Now] Parting song: ….
Before Tang poem had even said anything, Su Muzhe had already gone ahead and started violently beating them up indiscriminately.
[Now] Su Muzhe: Okay, stop pretending to be dead. Our party’s missing an enchantress, so come and help.
Tang Xiao suddenly got shocked by this attitude, so natural, so smooth.
[Now] Tang poem: You just killed me and now, you’re so upright and confident in telling me to help you?! No way!
[Now] Su Muzhe: You heard wrongly, I wasn’t asking but stating a statement. If you don’t help, we’ll kill a new little Tang poem every day.
[Now] Tang poem: I’ve never seen such a thick faced and shameless person.
[Now] Su Muzhe: If you look in the mirror, you’ll see someone like that regularly.
[Now] Tang poem: …
Su Muzhe wasn’t only just shameless and thick faced, but also slick tongued!
[Now] Tang poem: How about this! If you give me a fully nude poster of Mu Cheng, then I’ll help.
Apart from the two people talking, everyone else on the scene were shocked.
Parting song straight up threw away his mouse as he tried to digest this.
[Now] Parting song: How about, Su Muzhe gives you ten nudes, then you’ll work for us for half a year?
[Now] Tang poem: That’s fine too, but I want photos where Mu Cheng’s kissed them and personally signed them!
[Now] Su Muzhe: ….
[Now] Parting song: Done deal! Little Su, you definitely have to give little Tang poem the big ones, the half nude ones are the best.
[Now] Su Muzhe: …..
[Now] Tang poem: No, no, no, I like the fully nude ones better. Don’t bother with the half nude ones.
[Now] Su Muzhe: …..
Tang Xiao looked at the posters on her wall, her mood becoming even better.
She couldn’t help but “chu” to blow a kiss at the posters.
With Tang poem, this enchantress who could control people, the fight became incredibly easier.
They followed the previous method, everyone splitting up with a separate fox.
This time, Su Muzhe, Tang Xiao and the support nurse were left behind to fight the real fox.
Tang Xiao silently counted the cool down periods and duration of the spells, firmly ensuring that the nine tailed fox would stay frozen on the spot.
Sometimes, even when she lost track, Su Muzhe would still be able to find time to dodge the attack which made the support nurse look extremely free.
After losing half of her hp, Tang Xiao suddenly thought of something.
[Now] Tang poem: Right, the address is still the same as last time, just give it to my big sister.
[Now] Parting song: Don’t waste your words, we know.
[Now] Tang poem: Truthfully speaking, wife, you really have a way with things. You could actually get that assistant that doesn’t even eat poop to deliver Mu Cheng’s posters! Your face is really big! Ah, are you his relative?
[Now] Parting song: ….
Tang Xiao clearly felt Su Muzhe’s skills pause for half a minute.
Just as she was about to ask her if she was lagging, she suddenly saw Parting song ferociously rush towards her.
*
TL note:
Chrysanthemum flowers are used as a euphemism for butt holes. There’s a phrase that is “beat you up until your chrysanthemum blooms”, so yeah.
“Chu” - in Chinese, it’s [δΉδΉε] (me me da but pronounced more like “mo mo da” in English) which is slang for blowing a kiss or kind of like the equivalent of people saying “kisses” at the end of what they’re saying. It’s Tang Xiao being cute and one sidedly being lovey dovey with Mu Cheng.
Omg I love their trash talking XD thanks for the chapter :D
ReplyDeleteGood thing because this novel is 90% trash talking ππ
DeleteI think Tang Poem has already maximize her skill "The Art of Courting Death" lol XD. She always spamming that skill everytime she moves rofl
ReplyDeleteIt's her default skill that she uses intentionally and unintentionally πππ
DeleteOmg TX's too funny hahaha~ MC must be at least a little freaked out she wants his posters, especially if he thinks she's a male π
ReplyDeleteAlso plz tell me TX doesn't get TOO tongue-tied when they meet in real life. I want her to still have her shameless and hilarious personality lmao!! I've just read too many novels between a famous guy and the fangirl where the girl can barely even speak anytime they're together π©
Thank you for the chapter πππ
The ML is just speechless most of the time ππ
DeleteWhen they meet in real life, Tang Xiao doesn't even know she's met him yet so she doesn't get tongue tied. When she finally realises that he's known it's her from nearly the beginning, she nearly dies of embarrassment and does some very embarrassing stuff ππ
How to Court Death 101 for Dummies by Tang Poem
ReplyDeleteAnyway~ thanks for the chapter!
I'm pretty sure she wrote that book π€π
DeleteToo funny, too funny! I love how shameless Tang Xiao is!
ReplyDeleteYou're gonna love this novel π€π€
Delete[Now] Parting song: How about, Su Muzhe gives you ten nudes, then you’ll work for us for half a year?
ReplyDelete[Now] Tang poem: That’s fine too, but I want photos where Mu Cheng’s kissed them and personally signed them!
I feel like... everyone's shameless LOL
Muzhe is just more mixed both caring and bullying TX
This whole novel is propped up by shameless banter ✨✨
DeleteTang Xiao's shameless always makes me laugh out loud scaring my roommate ππ
ReplyDeleteShe's even funnier in Chinese ππ
DeleteShe is an expert to makes everyone want to kill her
ReplyDeleteShe's really good at it ππ
DeleteAnd now we know who Parting Song is in the real world �
ReplyDeleteSlowly, we'll know everybody's real identities ππ
Deletethese novel had the most dirty language but also the funniest of the novel that i had read..did that sound right��
ReplyDeleteso parting song is the assistent
ReplyDelete